sensemaking ii

from boundarypush by Wren Dove Lark

/

about

This song is the sequel to "sensemaking i". Whereas the first sensemaking track is about being overwhelmed trying to make things make sense, this sensemaking track is about the power that comes with realizing that the only person any damn thing about you has to make sense to is yourself. Any other expectation or role that another person places on you is projection, and it is your right to challenge that projection. This song references how I felt dating cis women while presenting as a cis man and feeling so skeeved out any time my "manly" attributes were referenced by them. I don't begrudge them that. These girls wanted a boyfriend. But it was so uncomfortable, and I think I hold a lot of shame for not being able to be what some of these girls wanted. I even had experiences like this after I came out as nonbinary and attempted to date cis women a couple times. This song is I guess also about reaching a place of acceptance with my story and trying to see it in a normal light and let go of some of the shame.

lyrics

[ Verse 1]

I wish I was born knowing my answers
'Cause it seems that's what you need
Someone to sit you down and talk you through nuance and complexity
Someone to file down all their edges and their eccentricities
When doing that comes at the cost of part of my humanity

An image of who I was that never seemed to fit with your desires
Was hard to articulate it as I was wading through this endless fire
But sometimes knowing who you're not is key
But I'm at a place where I can tell you now

[Prechorus]

Don't stand beside me if you just want for me to tower over you
Don't hold my hand if you're gonna emphasize how much you see it grew
I'm not a protector
I'm not a provider
I wish you knew

[Chorus]

That that ain't who I am
It's something you projected onto me
'Cause you refuse to understand
I can't fit this role you want me to be

And I contain multitudes
That'll never make sense to you
But that's something I got used to finally
Now it makes sense to me
Yeah
It makes sense to me
That's all I need
That's all I need

[Verse 2]

And I'm not a stud
I'm not a twink
I'm not messed up
I'm at the brink
Of a psychotic breakdown trying to break it down for you that

I'm more than fabulous and brave
And I'm not a soul you need to save

And if there's something else you see in me?

[Chorus]

That ain't who I am
It's something you projected onto me
'Cause you refuse to understand
I can't fit this role you want me to be

And I contain multitudes
That'll never make sense to you
But that's something I got used to finally
Now it makes sense to me
Yeah
It makes sense to me
That's all I need
That's all I need

[Bridge]

And you think I wrote this song for you?
Well that's a lie
I had to write it for myself to leave behind
This phase of life I felt so fragile I had to hide
And say goodbye to you

And I'm sorry how I hurt you
It wasn't my intent
And if you can't forgive I'll empathize and understand
But you will never know the pain of having to pretend to be someone who

[Chorus]

Isn't who I am
It's something you projected onto me
'Cause you refuse to understand
I can't fit this role you want me to be

And I contain multitudes
That'll never make sense to you
But that's something I got used to finally
Now it makes sense to me
Yeah
It makes sense to me
That's all I need
That's all I need

credits

from boundarypush, released February 9, 2024

license

all rights reserved

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about

Wren Dove Lark image

Wren Dove Lark Newark, New Jersey

I'm Wren (she/her). I write weird pop music for trans girls to cathartically cry to. If others get something from my music, that's awesome too. :)

Free Palestine 🇵🇸

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